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How To Improve Self Confidence

The most important thing to realize if you don't have self confidence is that it is certainly not your fault. Lack of self confidence can be for many reasons such as an in confident parent, or perhaps you were told that you were never good enough as a child, or perhaps you have made mistakes and done things you now regret and this makes you feel inferior to others. Perhaps you are not happy with the way you look or at school you had bad experiences. The list could go on but whatever the reason I hope this article will help to show you how to improve your self confidence.

The past

You need to get rid of the past. In other words let it go. Don't beat yourself up about things that have happened in the past, this is of no help to the whole universe or yourself. If memories come into your head be ready to let them go and replace them with a better thought. This is not hard to do and gets better quickly with practice. You can re-train your brain!

How you look

None of us are truly happy with how we look, but why do we seem to think it is only ourselves that has a problem! If we could only realize that people all over the world are stressing about the way they look. It can help knowing we are not alone in this. Of course we can improve confidence by helping the way we look with clothes, diet, exercise, hair, body and body language. Here are some tips to kick start your confidence and improve how you look and carry yourself.


What you wear really does make a difference. Clothes can make you feel sort of like a different person. When you put on sports clothes, smart clothes, jeans, sloppy Jo clothes at home, you do feel different about yourself depending on what you are wearing. Also when you go out, people react to you differently depending on what you are wearing. It's a bit like the difference in respect on the road whether you are driving a four wheel drive or a Fiesta! Get ideas for clothes from magazines and try something new, especially different colors. There are some good cheaper stores around these days so go and experiment. This is the most fun way on how to improve self confidence.


This can always be difficult and is usually an ongoing battle! Being realistic is the key here. You can't starve everyday because we are only human and with life's up and downs sometimes it isn't even possible to stick to a diet. Keep your eating to 80% healthy and allow yourself 20% of whatever. This way you won't be letting yourself down, and therefore feeling bad about yourself and lowering your self-esteem. Realizing this simple fact will go a long way to improving your confidence and your weight will be more controllable.


This is another difficult one especially if you are one of those people who just doesn't do exercise and regards it as a form of suicide. For the people that hate exercise then walking is better than nothing. Exercise is the best way of getting your body in shape and if you knew how much more confident you would feel if you did exercise then you might be motivated into starting, even in a small way. Exercise, even walking, gives you a feeling of achievement and when you see your body looking better, this gives you a boost of confidence.


One of the most important aspects of our appearance. Look in magazines, on TV and people you see out and about. Trying a new style or different color can work wonders for improving self confidence, whether it's just to hide the gray or smoothing frizzy hair, there is always something that can be done with hair!


Our bodies, especially our face, can be greatly improved these days. There are enough products over the counter to rid yourself of spots and wrinkles to sink a battle ship. If spots are a major problem then you doctor can prescribe you medication to clear your skin and they actually work these days.

Body language

How you use your body tells a lot about you. How you walk, hold your head etc. Body language can be improved at any time and this is perhaps one of the most constructive ways in how to improve confidence within yourself. You will feel more confident simply by walking with your shoulders back and holding you head up. Body and mind work together in making you the person you are.

How to learn to say no

How many times have you agreed to do something, but you hear yourself saying yes to these things and you really don't want to and you end up feeling used. Whether someone asks you to meet for coffee, someone invites themselves round to your house, doing a favor when it really is an inconvenience to you and all the rest. All because you don't feel confident, and you think you may upset the person who asked you. What you can do is have 2 or 3 excuses always at the ready for the next time and when you see that the person's reaction is not one of horror and they are really not bothered, then you will gradually feel more confident in saying 'no' the next time. When you are asked if you are available on the phone, say you will have to look in your diary, this will give you time to think of which excuse to use. For people at the door (you have to just 'do it' with this one) say "No Thank you" with a smile, and no matter what they say just repeat "No Thank you" refusing to be caught up in any conversation. You may think this is harsh but this is nothing compared to what some people say to people at the door! After you have mastered this you will feel so much better about yourself.

Showing your feeling

Improving confidence in this area is about more than the usual cliche "Men shouldn't cry" We have a range of emotions that we are just too scared to show sometimes. If you are feeling jealous, angry, frightened, upset or whatever, it is better to get these feelings out in the open as they only build up and you feel worse and then start to punish yourself again for not being confident enough to express yourself. Even if you can't approach the person you need to speak to, try and offload how you feel to someone else, ask for some advice, or try and think again about the situation and write down the positive and negative things about it. You may feel clearer in you head, and you may come to the conclusion that the problem isn't so bad, also remember that the longer you put off discussing the issues of concern, the longer you will have to suffer.

Nerves before an event

A way of tackling this is to 'fake' confidence. It's surprising how much better you can feel if you pretend, even pretend you are someone else, someone you admire perhaps a film star. Think of how they would react in your place and then you do the same. This really works! Also talking to yourself and giving yourself good positive messages instead of negative ones of "I can't do this" will improve your self confidence. After achieving where before you perhaps failed you will be on the road to success!

Academic stuff

Perhaps for whatever reason you didn't have a good education, or perhaps you find learning hard. This can make you feel very uncomfortable in certain situations. but, you are who you are and whatever your circumstances, they are what they are. You don't need to enroll in every nightschool in town, unless you will enjoy it. Simply accept your situation and openly admit your circumstance and you will have instant relief from doing so. It is only that fear of what people may think about us that makes us feel inferior. There are so many qualities that a person can have, that to worry about academic stuff is pointless.

A few last tips on how to improve self confidence

Don't compare yourself to others, be happy in your own skin.

Remember to give yourself positive messages in all that you do.

You don't need to worry about what other people are thinking about you, you are not the only one that can feel unconfident.

You were born on this earth and whatever your life has entailed so far you can become happier and more confident in your future. You have as much right as anyone else to be here so start thinking of all the good things about yourself and enjoy living.

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