You are here: girls > boyfriend advice > he takes me for granted >

My Boyfriend Takes Me For Granted

Have you been with your boyfriend for some time but recently you've noticed that you are becoming more and more invisible? For example, you are sitting next to him and perhaps telling him something, but he's not hearing what you are saying. Or perhaps he's taking you for granted in other ways. Is he late when he's meeting you? Does he tell you that you are doing something together and then forgets?, or even worse he says you are doing something together and then tells you he is going out with his mates!?

This is where it must stop! You are feeling pretty hard done by, but this doesn't mean he is fed up with you or wants to finish with you, but never the less he needs a wake up call to realise that you are fed up being ignored and treated like an old door mat.

Here are some helpful tips to make him realise that you won't be putting up with this treatment any longer. If there is no improvement then you may need to consider moving on and find someone new.

  • When you have something important to tell him, (especially if it's something that he needs to know) only tell him once and if he hasn't heard you because he is glued to the computer, TV, or otherwise occupied, don't repeat it and he will suffer the consequences later when he finds out that he has missed whatever information you gave him. Try and have a witness there to prove that you told him or it will be his word against yours.
  • If he has arranged with you that you are both going out and he then forgets (even if you want to explode inside because you are so furious) say "Never mind, my friend asked me if I wanted to go out so i'll go out with her". Hopefully you have someone you can go out with or at least go to someone's house. When he sees that you are not bothered and he's left watching the television on his own all night, he will realise that he's not the only one in the picture.
  • If he has arranged to go out with you and then says he forgot and he's arranged to go out with his mates, say that you thought he might forget and look pleased and excited when you say it's fine because a group of you have decided to have a night in town and you won't be in till really late or you may sleep at a friends.
  • When you meet with him don't start the conversation as you perhaps usually do, let him do the talking and stay very calm and cool, don't be cold with him but just be a little less eager with your side of the conversation.
  • Don't ask him to go anywhere or if he wants to do anything, let him start doing some of the work and make some decisions. Meanwhile keep your diary full and show him that you have a busy life and plenty to do without him.
  • Any little things that you maybe used to do for him, stop doing them and put them on hold for the moment. It's nice to do little things for each other but not if they are not being appreciated.

Hopefully if you persevere and be consistent with your actions your boyfriend will realise you are not a pushover and you can enjoy an equally shared relationship.

Ask your Question

Ask the Seevice community and get answers from honest people who are just like you.
Most Recent Questions